Empowering you to live your life in a way that is satisfying and rewarding.
SERVICE DETAILS
Relationship therapy details
50 - 120 minutes starting at $200
Insurance:
Aetna
Regence
Premera
Kaiser of Washington
Medicare (Washington)
Tri-care
LifeWise
First Choice Health (FCH)
Asuris
Global
Healthcare Management Administrators
Heritage
Individual Signature
Out of network
Payment can be arranged through client portal, cash, credit
Sliding scale is available
RELATIONSHIP THERAPY
My approach to relationship work is an integration of Gottman and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). I believe this offers skills as well as reduces obstacles to deeper emotional connection. Many relationships face communication challenges and work to find balance in, establishing connection while maintaining boundaries and individuality. The process of working toward these goals includes working to navigate difficult emotions such as anger, impatience, and frustration. When it feels safe and effective to express difficult emotions, we embody a more complete and genuine self. This promotes deep understanding and satisfying relationships.
Through a lens that includes the Gottmans and Susan Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), members of the relationship have an opportunity to explore and identify what contributes to feelings of connection and validation in their life, and how to invite each other to engage in a way that satisfies and enhances those feelings.
INDIVIDUAL THERAPY
My approach to individual therapy is influenced by humanism and existentialism, normalizing the human experience and our own individual experience of being. Also referred to as meeting you where you are. I also use principles from Solution-Focused Brief Therapy, which influences treatment planning, goal setting and identifying and doing more of what works, and less of what doesn’t. Individual therapy is still about the systems of which you are a part and how you are feeling and interacting within them. Individual work, while identifying goals and supporting your achievement of them, also helps to equip you to interact with the people in your life in an effective, meaningful and productive way that feels satisfying, and brings you increased joy.
SERVICE DETAILS
Individual therapy details
50 - 120 minutes starting at $175
Insurance:
Aetna
Regence
Premera
Kaiser of Washington
LifeWise
First Choice Health (FCH)
Asuris
Global
Healthcare Management Administrators
Heritage
Individual Signature
Medicare (Washington)
Tri-care
Out of network
Payment can be arranged through client portal, cash, credit
Sliding scale is available
My goal with clients as we begin to work together is to cultivate a relationship where you feel at ease, and can openly engage in self discovery and exploration that will contribute to the way you pursue and engage in your own unique change and growth in your life.
THERAPEUTIC APPROACH
Through a lens that includes the Gottman’s and Susan Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Therapy, Systems theory, Humanistic/Experiential/Existential, and Solution-Focused Brief Therapy, you have an opportunity to explore and identify what contributes to feelings of connection, validation, satisfaction, and meaning.
Therapeutic interventions and goals include:
- Reframing
- Reflecting
- Self-concept and self-actualization
- Structure and boundaries
- Identifying strengths and focusing on ability over limitation
- Increased mindfulness and spiritual balance
- Managing stress and anxiety
Relationship conflict:
Relationship conflict is a natural occurrence and it matters how we navigate it as a relationship system. It is important to understand the layers and the details within a conflict, and the ways in which resolution and understanding can be reached.
It is critical that we have healthy boundaries in a relationship where each individual is treated with commensurate respect and consideration. All parties must be equal and must operate under the same standards. A critical part of respect and boundaries is how they relate to stonewalling, or when we become emotionally overwhelmed and shut down or blow up. It is at this time that what is often needed is patience, time and space where a break can be taken from the interaction and thoughts about the conflict. Sometimes it may be necessary to take a half hour or more to calm or emotionally regulate and be able to coregulate or reengage in a productive way.
Improving Communication
When we have open communication with our partner, where we feel safe asking for what we need and sharing our feelings openly, we can more easily identify how we feel about the situation and decide if we are able to find some common ground or if we must agree to disagree. Some problems are resolvable, while others remain perpetual. Remember, we don’t have to agree on everything in order to get along or even love each other.
When one or more people in a relationship are upset, we sometimes support them by being like detectives, curious about what is wrong, what has happened, and asking how we can help? One of the most important things to seek and understand about this individual is the origin of what they are feeling. When we can get to the source of someone’s difficult emotions, we have an opportunity for catharsis, progress, and closure. This is one of the beautiful and healing things that relationships offer us.
Trauma
Symptoms of Posttraumatc Stress Disorder (PTSD) are experienced after the original trauma through intrusive memories, nightmares, and flash-backs. Individuals often try to avoid the distressing memories of their trauma and people, places, etc. that are reminders. Those that experience PTSD also tend to experience pervasive and persistent negative beliefs about self, others, and the world. It can often be difficult to shake off what is referred to as a persistent negative emotional state, and a sense of detachment from others. In a struggle to regulate emotion, sometimes individuals can be irritable, or engage in outbursts unprovoked. They can be reckless, hypervigilant, and have trouble concentrating. While these are some of the common characteristics of PTSD, each person’s experience is unique.
get to know yourself
It is important that you have an opportunity to explore traumatic, negative, or adverse experiences. When you experience an accepting and emotionally safe environment, you are more able to explore experiences and identify opportunities to heal, and to change how you see, remember, and talk about your history; your story.
Experiencing grief and loss may or may not qualify for a PTSD diagnosis, but it can be incredibly difficult and painful. Like the big ‘T’ traumas above, what can be helpful in your healing process is to engage in self-exploration and discovery in an environment where you are supported and feel emotionally safe.
depression:
Depression affects our emotions and can permeate how we think and behave. Feelings ranging from blue to overwhelming experiences of deep emptiness or hopelessness contribute to a lack of interest in enjoyable activities and an overall state of emotional isolation and social withdrawal. It can also reduce levels of function at home, professionally, and socially.
Depression Symptoms include:
- A depressed mood most of the day, more days than not
- Lack of interest in pleasurable activities
- Significant weight changes
- Insomnia or hypersomnia
- Psychomotor agitation or retardation, such as leg shaking or slowing in a way that is not typical
- Fatigue or loss of energy nearly daily
- Feelings of worthlessness or inappropriate guilt
- A pervasive sense of hopelessness
- Diminished ability to think, concentrate. Indecisiveness nearly daily
- Recurrent thoughts of death or suicidality, plans of suicide, or suicide attempts
Treating your depression might include talking about its sources and examining negative automatic thoughts that might contribute to a negatively-skewed view. It may also involve decisions about seeking psychiatric medication to assist in bringing you up and out of your depressed state.
Therapy for depression might include identifying healthy coping skills and adding new ones as needed while working to engage physically and socially, both of which show promise in reducing symptoms.
It is worthwhile to note that when diagnosing, mental health and medical professionals will explore an individual’s experiences to assess whether their experiences are causing clinically significant distress or impairment in functioning. They will also check that the episode is not due to the mental effects of a substance, or related in any way to another medical condition.
As an individual...
…depression can often make it very difficult to be productive, engaged, or content.
More importantly, feelings of deep hopelessness brought on by depression can lead to thoughts of and intent to commit suicide. These struggles can often be worked through and treated with medication and/or mental health therapy. This is why mental health professionals will often ask if you are having suicidal thoughts or if you have any plans or means. It is our job to keep you safe during this time in which you might do something that you would regret or would otherwise not do were you in a clearer frame of mind.
TREATING DEPRESSION
Depression can make everything more difficult, longer, harder, farther, and heavier. While often making an individual feel increasingly worn out, tired, emotionally raw or sensitive, and lacking capabilities or confidence to perform daily activities or tasks. Many individuals with depression struggle to get out of bed and to connect with the very support systems that can help them weather the storm. Two of the most important things we can do to alleviate symptoms of depression are aerobic or cardiovascular exercise and being around people that care about and understand us at least half the days of the week, even short periods of time, and even video or just regular old phone calls can be enough to lift us up and begin to improve feelings and function.
In relationships depression is often identified more quickly, and can therefore be treated earlier. People in relationships are often paying closer attention to their partner’s functioning and can offer insight as well as support. Depression can cause conflict in relationships as it may lead a partner to act uncharacteristically, such as being moody, impatient or frustrated. They may be more likely to isolate and avoid others. Individuals often know their partner so well, that it can be troubling to see solutions that their partner is avoiding or directly refusing. Patience, empathy and compassion can be called on, and tested more than ever before, as relationships navigate depressive symptoms.
Whether individual or in relationship, our work begins with you having a safe place to be yourself, to unpack the things that challenge you and begin to deconstruct and reorganize in a productive way. This experience allows you to be heard and supported in your process of healing and growth. I am excited to get to work.
ANXIETY:
Anxiety (or Generalized anxiety disorder) is defined as excessive worry, more days than not, for at least 6 months, about several activities such as work or social engagement interaction and function. They struggle to control their worry, which is associated with three or more of the following:
- A feeling of restlessness or being on edge
- Wearing out or tiring easily
- Having trouble with concentration, mind going blank
- Irritability
- Muscle tension
- Insomnia, hypersomnia or other sleep trouble
Note: When diagnosing, mental health and medical professionals will explore an individual’s experiences to assess whether they are causing clinically significant distress or impairment in functioning. They will also check that the episode is not due to the mental effects of a substance, or related in any way to the effects of another medical condition.
treating anxiety
Much like depression, anxiety can immobilize and leave us in an avoidant or isolating cycle of behavior. For individuals, anxiety can be something they carry around that they rarely if ever talk about. Often those with anxiety feel as though talking about their anxiety may make others anxious, or will dampen the mood. Some feel it is selfish to talk about their anxiety because it will make others worry about them or bring the level of happiness down. So, when you know someone has anxiety, it is likely that they have had it for some time, and have only recently been unable to suppress or contain it. They exhibit great courage and trust in you to be willing to share it, despite the fact that as a culture we provide little safe space to talk about it. We can all work to create and nurture safe emotional spaces to provide support and care to those we love.
attachment Theory
From infancy, we form critical emotional attachments to our primary caregivers. As we identify our needs to them, our caregivers work to provide us with what we need to feel cared for and safe. Unmet needs result in an interruption in this attachment process, resulting in injuries that over time can impact how we learn to connect emotionally. When attachment needs are unmet we often respond by engaging more or withdrawing. This is referred to as anxious or avoidant attachment behavior. One or both are present in most all of us and can be witnessed most in primary relationships.
It is our nature to seek to resolve our attachment injuries in our intimate relationships and through the interpersonal dynamics within them. For instance, childhood neglect experiences may lead to a heightened attachment need and fears of abandonment. One might respond by over-functioning, by withdrawing, or some combination of both (anxious/avoidant). The point is, you are working to tend to that unmet need from before and take that opportunity to reconcile, or get it met. Healthy attachment involves identifying unmet needs and what steps you and your partner can take individually and as partners to acknowledge and tend to them.
In therapy we work first to deescalate tension, frustration and resentment to move you toward a space in which you feel safe or positive about working to improve your relationship experience. Next, a skills inventory looks at what you are doing that is working and offers potentially new concepts that you can add to your relationship skills repertoire. Maximizing these skills empowers effective conveyance of your own values, needs, and expectations to your partner and enhances your skill at more effectively navigating and negotiating satisfying results. This clarity and openness of communication will foster your next step, which is to enhance and deepen your emotional connection. This leads to increased shared meaning and relationship satisfaction.